Calico Creations

Ah, the new year is around the corner. A new day holds a new month and a new year.
We've got to adjust ourselves from writing 2008 to 2009 on all of our checks or homework papers.

Some people even go the long way to making a "new years resolution"

Do you?

Well whether or not you believe in them, everyone wants to do better for themselves. I guess it takes a date change to get you going. I wonder if that's why calendars were invented? Or is it just our lazy culture that has encouraged everyone to make new years resolutions..

On a further thought, Where the heck did the word Resolution come from?!



res·o·lu·tion

(rěz'ə-lōō'shən) Pronunciation Key n. The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination. A resolving to do something. A course of action determined or decided on. A formal statement of a decision or expression of opinion put before or adopted by an assembly such as the U.S. Congress. Physics & Chemistry The act or process of separating or reducing something into its constituent parts: the prismatic resolution of sunlight into its spectral colors. The fineness of detail that can be distinguished in an image, as on a video display terminal. Medicine The subsiding or termination of an abnormal condition, such as a fever or an inflammation. Law A court decision. An explanation, as of a problem or puzzle; a solution. The part of a literary work in which the complications of the plot are resolved or simplified. The progression of a dissonant tone or chord to a consonant tone or chord. The tone or chord to which such a progression is made. Music The progression of a dissonant tone or chord to a consonant tone or chord. The tone or chord to which such a progression is made. The substitution of one metrical unit for another, especially the substitution of two short syllables for one long syllable in quantitative verse.

Well from that, it doesn't even seem like the words "New Year's Resolutions" even make much sense in the way that culture today has decided to put them.

We come to a definite or earnest decision about doing something with the intentions of our actions to being RESOLUTE and intend to do it with firm determination.

When really, it's just a silly list of crap we want to make ourselves better, but we don't do them -- or rather we don't feel like trying.

Just another day, for some people.

If you want do do something -- do it.
My dad wanted to quit smoking one year and he lacked the determination to do it on New Years...So he did it on Super Bowl Day. He almost wanted to wait until next year!!

Aye. Just do something.

Which leads me to my next point.

My "New Years Resolution" deals with feet.

Yup, Feet.

I want healthy feet, which leads to healthy posture, which leads to healthy everything.
How do I do that?

Well I already started.
I researched and read. I googled for hours!

I figured out that the best thing for the job is a nice pair of Birkenstocks.

You know what pushed me to the edge of making this decision??
My arches are falling. I've never been in so much pain in my life. I know that my brother has to wear those retarded inserts in his shoes and he dies if he doesn't.
>.<>.< Which I did. But regardless -- My shoes were always 2 sizes too small. My clothes never fit me right. But I got used to it.

I turned around and got the right size and mentally changed myself on the spot. I'm going to do this for me. Not for anyone else. These shoes are an investment in myself. I'm not a little kid anymore. I gotta do what I gotta do and buy the right stuff.

Along with that mentality came other things.
***You know, resolutions are hardcore...I resolve to have better feet, therefore I grow up.***

I decided to go through my clothes today.

I retired a garbage bag full of clothes.
Those clothes you KNOW you're never going to wear again.
They don't fit me in the shoulders Ma -- I'm getting rid of it.
They've got silly pictures on it Ma -- I'm getting rid of it.
Those socks don't match Ma -- I'm getting rid of it.
I haven't worn that shirt in 7 years, I don't care who gave it to me Ma -- I'm getting rid of it.

Yes..I need to argue with her about stuff that doesn't fit me anymore. It sucks. I'm not a size small or medium anymore. I'm 20 and I don't need a kid's shirt that has Snuffy on it.

Along with that, I have "Resolved" not to buy anymore stupid clothes.
I mean "Girly" clothes with stupid words on it.
If I buy a shirt, it better be a regular "grown-up" shirt. Solid or decorative. If it has a print on it, it'd better be good. No words. REMEMBER THAT STEPHERS! I don't care if it has words on it. And I don't care how funny of a shirt it is. No matter what the slogan. Mental reminder. Keep telling yourself that it doesn't matter.

Remind yourself to google it and save a jpg of it...if it really makes you that happy.

If it DOES have a print on it, it'd better be worth wearing.
My last print shirt that I got is this:



And yes, it is worth wearing.
But it probably will be the last "random" print shirt that I get. O.O I got it for Christmas. So shh.


AND ALONG WITH THAT RESOLUTION!! Comes another!!!
NO MORE SILLY SOCKS!
That's it, Stepher. No more silly socks. None for you.
I don't care if they're a dollar.
Spend a dollar and a quarter and get plain socks.
I don't want socks that have pumpkins on them worn all year round.
Or silly froggies.
Or those damned socks that can only fit on an 8 year old's foot with Mr. Owl from the tootsie pop commercial. You don't need them. They're bright yellow with red swirls and dots.
You don't OWN anything yellow!
Let alone, you wear some pretty plain, vanilla clothes. Your socks don't need to be extravagent.

Keep it simple from now on.
But not too simple, those are a waste of money too. They don't fit your feet either. You know, those white socks you got from when the guy at your dad's work sells socks. They're for Men's feet? Did you even know that before you bought a zillion pairs? They're white and the heel of the sock comes up to your mid-calf. Can we remember that low price sometimes means low quality?
Yup, I'll remember.
Promise.
They're in the donation bag now.
I bought new socks.
And I washed them.
And lost one.
HOW DO THEY DO THAT?! It's like..Those socks go on an adventure with my feet. They're good friends, ya know? Then when they get washed, someone's feelings get hurt and one sock kills the other and hides the evidence. Now that they all look the same, I can't find the culprit.
Oh silly life.

Well anyways.

To sum it all up,
I got new shoes.
My feet feel better.
I have good socks now.
I lost one.
I got rid of tons of clothes.
I won't buy any more silly shirts.


OH ONE LAST RESOLUTION!!
I need pants.
XD IS that really a resolution?
I suppose.
In a way.
Well...My resolution with that is DON'T GET YOUR NEW PANTS DIRTY!
All of your pants are not to be played in.
Don't get pastels, paints, oil, grease, marker, silica, crayon, pen or ANYTHING ELSE YUCKY ON THEM!
You can do that with your jeans.
That's what they're meant for.
I had 1 pair of cruddy jeans and 5 pairs of nice pants.
Now I have 2 pairs of nice pants and the rest are just a huge mess.
Repeat after me:
Pants are not napkins.
Pants are not a canvas.
Pants are not a place to test if your marker works.
Pants are not where you draw what your heart desires.
Pants are not places you stab things in.
Pants are only so thick - you will bleed if you stab yourself.
Blood is hard to remove.
Pants are not hankies, rags, dusters, or anything that may follow.
If I buy some new pairs, you need to promise me you won't get these yucky.
Ok, I promise.
There, done.



See? Resolutions done!
=D

http://befriendageek.com/












But For reals, Don't forget about the elderly!! Drop a few Christmas cards off at a Nursing Home or the Hospital! They're just like us and it sucks that many have families that are out of town, or just don't care. Some elderly people have outlived their families and they're unable to take care of themselves. It certainly would bring a smile to their face if they got a card.

I decided I hate hair more than ever..XD

But one down, one to go!! Can I finish before Christmas eve?!?!

You're going to get an update on here every time I want to check it out on my computer

XD

Anyways, I think I have his face mostly done..

I have also found out the HARDEST thing to draw -- foreheads.

I fail at drawing them. Big time.

15 minutes in and I messed up his noes T_T Yes, it's spelled noes now, not nose. It's much better if it's noes.

XD

I get some crazy dreams...And it leads me to want to draw people. XD When you're the joker's accomplice, it makes your dream so fun.

Messed up mentality and the willing to screw up the status quo because the status is NOT quo! Definitely fun - I kinda want to go back O.O

Ok, I'm done with it. I think a little more blending might be ok, but other than that..My final is done! Next up, extra credit! =D

Promise..

I want to do a zillion..XD They're fun...And I finally get to draw in MY STYLE...Not the "conformed" bull crap that my teachers WANT.

They all say "do it in black and white and make it look so and so blah blah blah"

This teacher said "Draw a notable and make it on 9x12 or 11 x 14." NO RESTRICTIONS!! I started painting something else and it looked like crap. This is my first attempt with Andre..

I had 2 attempts with Triple H..I failed.



Everyone else is doing movie stars...Or singers..And I said NO! I wanted to draw people that mattered.

XD

I promise, it makes sense.

Gram was telling me about her dad HAD to watch wrestling..He'd sit on the arm of the chair and get REALLY excited.
Well, one day, he had a heart attack. When he was in the hospital, he begged the nurses to let him watch wrestling..They said Ok....BUT WAIT WAIT..We gotta hook you up to the monitor first! If you get too excited, no more wrestling for the day!!

=) Sillies.

Anyways, This is getting done in Nu Pastel.

I realllllyyyy Like Nu pastels..They're sooo nice to work with.

The next one I want to do will be Chyna.



But I intend on drawing her in a new style..
http://www.crookedbrains.net/2007/08/typewriter-art-can-you-believe-that.html
Check those out.
They're done with a TYPEWRITER!!

I don't doubt that many of you have gotten that in your e-mail.
Anyways, I picked up these letter stamps from Michaels for a BUCK. The whole alphabet! I'll give it a try with those! <3 Heck, if I can get tons of extra credit PLUS something nifty for my portfolio, why not? It's worth a try!!

I'm going to update this BECAUSE I WAS TOLD TO!

I had to get up early this morning to babysit! I was pretty tired, and literally ready to hop in the car still wearing my jammies and robe and head over there..Then PRAY that the childrens are still sleeping and sleep until someone finds me there!

Because you know, that would have only had happened in a perfect world.

Rose went to school, Bella wanted to be awake and then Mia decided to wake up too.
Chrissy left and I got to get Mia out of bed with a happy surprise -- GOOD IDEA MOM! Me getting her out of bed left her as a pretty happy kid! But you know..I also got to change her too. It was a mushy surprise and I soo didn't like it. But opening that window really helped.

They each had their moments of cranky-ness, but all went well!

Oh, and I really like Tony Little's Gazelle. It's fun.

I found my Zen -- he was under a pile of chopped up christmas cards..

WHICH REMINDS ME!!!

If you have any old Christmas cards -- GIVE THEM TO ME!! Tell everyone you know about it!! We always get them..but then feel bad about throwing them out. So the stack grows each year.

=) I'm remaking them into some new cards and I plan on giving a BUNCH away. December 15 is a deadline I need to make for one...

http://news.deviantart.com/article/61965/

I send them to DA and then they'll distribute them to the lonely people at the hospital!



Anyways -- Just another way of recycling and still caring!!

SO yeah, if anyone has some old christmas cards..Let me know and pass them on -- I can make use of them!!

Heck, I could use any cards, really.. It's fun doing this stuff!



***Did you know that if you spend time around babies//young children, your farts end up smelling like baby poo? I've noticed that when I'm around old people too -- it smells like old people farts. Crazy.. O.o I can't figure that one out.***



Ok, I gotta remind myself that I want this ...

http://personaltrainercooking.com/

VERY nifty -- so far, it's gotten some good "reviews" and all success stories!! I want to make nommie foods!!!

It was a tough journey...Today I had to let go.
I think my emotions are pretty much in a big ball and it's ending up as leaving me emotionless. If anything, I'm depressed a bit. Well...A bit more than a bit. But I've been trying to calm my nerves and relax a bit. I feel better. I know it only happened a few hours ago, but I think I'll be alright.

My tummy is in knots, my head is pounding. I lost my dinner. I'll try not to loose my marbles.


He was my best friend. Sometimes, he was all that I had.

I sometimes think "well, if I never got him..I never would have been in this pickle"...If I never got him, I would have never danced THIS dance in life. I would have missed out on all the fun.


Monday, he started to seem like he was cramping up on the inside or something. He huddled really close to the ground and fell asleep...then woke up. This was just a habit that he started when he first got sick. I just thought it was a bad day and gave a little prayer and waited it out.

Tuesday, he continued this habit but decided he didn't want to eat much. He stopped drinking pretty much everything. His breathing started to get a little more shallow than usual. I had hopes that this was just another bad day and it would pass. I could still pet him and get him to a raspy purr at this point..so I prayed again and hoped for the best.

Today, he wouldn't touch his food. He wouldn't eat his meat..He wouldn't even eat chicken or lunch meat out of my hand. He wanted to be huddled even closer to the ground, neck stretched way out and his front paws somewhat sprawled forward. His breathing was terribly quick and shallow. He looked like he hadn't slept at all. His eyes were wide open all the time - he wouldn't even dare to close them. It took me about 10 minutes to even find him this morning. He didn't look so well then. My dad tried to hold him for a little while, he couldn't seem to hold his head up on his own. He rested his head in my dad's hand and closed his eyes for a few minutes...then he hopped down and went into the same position as I mentioned before.

When I was at school, this was all I could think. I couldn't walk even -- I fell flat on my face when I was walking into school. >.< I think I have glass or metal in my hand from that.

I told ma to give me a call if anything happened. The way that he was doing when I left, I almost thought that I wouldn't be able to see him when I got home.

I got out of school..went to gram's like I usually do on wednesdays and I talked to her a bit. I felt kind of down and out about everything..the whole time I'm thinking "How's he doing..he's just a few blocks away but right now my priority is waiting until grandpa gets home"...I was a little worried, a little upset...but gram's pretty good for getting me to feel better.

I talked to her about I dream I had last night...I always seem to have dreams with my other cat, Vickey, who passed away about a year ago now..Or was it two? I can't remember..My brain is jumbled. I'll remember then edit this if I feel like it..
Anyways....It was just a weird dream that I had...I was pretty upset..She seemed kind of sick...then her tongue fell out. Then I woke up. Mind you..this dream happened at a point between 7:45 and 8:02..I killed one alarm and reset the other to snooze for a bit. She told me that dreams can mean things..and this one may just mean that it really is time to let go. We don't know about the tongue falling out part...but I guess it all means just the same..

Anyways..So I got a call from my dad when I was at gram's house..He said pretty much that it's time and wanted to talk about it when I got home.
I was upset even moreso at this point..But I waited until grandpa came home..then I left as soon as possible.

We made the decision pretty quick..Pooks didn't seem like he had the strength to lift his head..I couldn't get him to even give a faint purr.. It was pretty sad. At this point I knew it was the right decision.

We called around and it turned out that we needed to go to the emergency clinic...so we did. We decided not to be in the room with him..
I gave him my goodbyes..I gave him a look square in the face..and I'll never forget his googley eyes looking back into mine for a good solid minute. I can gurantee you that will be my next painting. It might actually bring me some closure.
Anyways..I said goodbye to him..let the lady know that I was ready..then she came in the room..he gave me a pretty sad look and the lady said that she would take good care of him..she picked him up..he meowed..I briskly walked out of the room into the other.. My dad was pretty upset..he was choked up and crying too at this point. I stood in the room for about 2 seconds..I started to sob...he gave me a hug..then all I could hear was Pooks just howl-meowing. I knew he was in pain. My dad said We should go now..Or something like that..And I ran out of the building. I stood in the cold..took a deep breath and sobbed really loud for about a minute.. I think it hurt more to let him go like than than it ever would.. I calmed myself down..I didn't cry all the way home..I was pretty quiet. When we started to turn the corner near my house, I had a few huge big teardrops fall down. That whole time...I was pretty much just thinking that I didn't even want to come home. I didn't know what to do with myself on the ride home.

When I got home, I just sat for a few minutes..I called Gary..he passed on the word. I talked to a few of my friends. I relaxed a lot. I did my homework and then I started to type on here...

My dad came up here before he left to shoot pool with Mark. He said that he happened to notice that his poo was black...which is a sign of blood in his tummy or something... I guess this is possibly the very last trigger to it all. He was doing so well. It may have been the medication, the food, the anything, really. He might have been internally bleeding from all of that..OR it could have been a sign that something happened with his tumor *that is, if what was in his x-rays was a tumor...we didn't know.*
Anyways..With that in mind, it made me feel better about the decision too. I knew that I did everything I possibly could. This was the last bit and it was beyond my control. There was no turning back now. I feel ok at this point. I still just feel a huge loss.

I feel relieved that he's not hurting anymore. I know it's been a really hard journey for him. One thing on top of another..It's been tough. I really had thought that he may have been able to make it through the holidays. Or something. I don't know. I just prayed for the best.

It's hard when someone so special is your everything..and you need to let everything go.

I'll be doing alright...just gotta keep my marbles up there and stop dropping them everywhere. If I drop my marbles, I fall on my face. I figured that one out earlier. It hurts, too. It's like God's little "HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE" type of moment. Your marbles fall out of your head and God says "GO PICK THEM UP" and makes you fall on your face.




This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for all the time that I have been able to spend with Pooks. I'm thankful for my father saving him from getting squashed under a tire when he was a kitten. I'm thankful for every single moment that we've shared together. Each time we shared sitting on a chair. Every meal we spent together. Every bit of my meal I snuck to him. Every time that he knocked over the garbage can and I got yelled at for it. During the end of his life, I'm thankful for all of the support that I had from friends, family and all members of the online communities that helped me emotionally and financially with his exams, x-rays and checkups.

I'm thankful for having him in my life.



~Ne me mori facias~
~Steph~